Greninja the critic
by Froakie345
Summary: Another critic is on the rise! Watch Greninja review some of the best and some of the worst games! Give Greninja games to review. And review he shall!
1. Chapter 1

(_Greninja walks out from behind the curtain as the kalos Pokémon theme plays_)

Hey guys I'm Greninja and what I'm doing is...actually I'm doing what Keldeo, Kyurem, and Zorua does but with video games. So if you want more review stuff like this check out: Keldeo the critic, Kyurem the critic, and Zorua whatever. If you want the Zorua stuff then just click on the author of Keldeo the critic. So the first game is Pokémon snap, suggested by Matthais Unidostres the Author of Keldeo the critic, Zorua and many many more stories. Seriously the guy has what? 60 stories? Well anyways, review time. So let's see Pokémon snap is a Pokémon photography game. Well that's freaking obvious! The cover picture is a pokeball with Pokémon and a freaking CAMERA! What do you think, you put a giant camera on the cover picture and expect us not to figure it out? WTF!

_Self Rage Test complete_

Oh great time for those floating sphere things like in Keldeo's reviews.

_No. I test Rage. The others test sarcasm._

If they want sarcasm then they should check the authors personality. He has plenty of that. So let's see our setting is Pokémon Island, yeah real creative name! Name it something else other than just Pokémon island! Something like, Violet Island! Oh, wait. That is from a creepypasta Kyurem reviewed. Never mind. So Professor Oak, yeah that's right. The old oak that everyone knows and loves. Hires you, an un-named character -Oh wait. His name is Todd snap- to photograph many Pokémon on Pokémon Island. I'm really having trouble with the whole naming an island like this just Pokémon Island. Really? Ugh! Anyways the island itself is a large place inhabited by many Pokémon in there natural habitats. These habitats per say are different from the next. Which is something I like in the game. Now the first section below will talk about the game play itself.

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**Gameplay**

Ok so gameplay wise it's very basic. Todd moves on his own: which in most cases are good because, the author really hated the ice courses in Black and white the first time around. But in for others, they say f**k this game! But it's a rail shooter, what do you expect? Second it's first person, a lot of games are so let's forget this fact.

You see the objective here can be very simple, or extremely f**ked up. You have to take as many photos of Pokémon that you can. In the beginning you only have a camera. So it's very basic about what you can take pictures of. But the quality of the pic is what counts the most. You'd get a higher score for a bulbasaur smiling at you then you would a Pikachu about to escape. Of course its not just about pressing a button to take a pic, as you move on you gain more items. But that is for the progression section soon to come.

The graphics are what you wouldn't expect at the time. You see this game has some nice quality graphics that are really good. Instead of seeing your pathetic Pikachu sprite from yellow, you get to see a greatly made and adorable Pika-pal. I mean for the NES this game took a major step forward. And most of you are probably like: "Why can't basic Pokémon games be like this!" Pokémon X and Y. Nuff said. And its something you may look forward to in the game.

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**Story**

The story! So our adventure begins with meeting Oak and naming Todd! His default name is Todd. But YOU can name him whatever you want! So Oak explains that he wants YOU, one of the best photographers in the business to help him! So he tells you to get many photos of Pokémon for his research. He even gives you a raft called the zero-one. Seriously? Zero-one? Wtf Nintendo. Wtf. So this raft is probably on auto pilot all the time since you need to use your hands for the camera. But the raft is used for transportation through out the island. And after completing the first six levels to your happiness, you get a special BONUS level that is really awesome. From what the author and I have seen. He doesn't own the game. He just watched Ian and Anthony from smosh play it on gametime w/ smosh. Now I think you guys need to see the progression segment in this review to find out what special items you can obtain.

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**Progression**

Ok so progression. First level you start off with only a camera. Yeah its pretty basic but its the start of the game. What can I say? Its a NES game from the 90's. Its not like its going to be packed full of content like present day games. Anyways after a small amount of progress is made, Prof. Oak gives you some apples. But they are not for Todd to eat. You use these to bait out Pokémon. So you can go replay that beach level and get that bulbasaur or whatever to stop hiding and look cute for the camera. And of course there are more items to earn. After the apples you earn pester balls. And I know what your thinking if you expected this to change from a rail shooter game to a basic Pokémon game. If you do then you're thinking: "Oh wow now I can catch that Pikachu and evolve it!" Well you are wrong. These pester balls are able to knock out Pokémon -wait what? Knocks out Pokémon? Oh sure that's a nice picture to take- or to get them out from hiding. Really? Can't you just replace them with something better? Seeing how an apple does what the pester ball does. Except the whole, knocking out Pokémon thing. And you soon get the Poke Flute and Dash engine. The Poke Flute as in the games, wakes a Pokémon up. That's right move over Snorlax! But it also has two other effects not in the basic game. Aggravating and hatching Pokémon. That hatching is a smart idea. Now we can see a baby Pokémon and take a picture of it. But aggravating? Really? If this were real life, and Pokémon existed in the real world, then you would be f**ked. Sure just aggravate that Primeape why don't ya? What the actual f**k Nintendo. And the dash engine just makes you go faster. That's it.

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**Conclusion**

And so in response, Pokémon snap is a fun, entertaining game. It's refreshing and it's new even to this generation. There are plenty of things to see here. Some may do everything to make it to the bonus level, while others will take the time to take a dozen pictures of Pikachu. But there is something for everyone. So I recommend it to anyone who still has there dusty old NES. Also the author will be taking requests for my reviews. Just pm him and he will have me review them. But that wont be until the third one. Because the second review is one from the author himself that he feels needs another review. So tune in next time for when I review: Assassin's Creed 3!

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**Hey guys I recently decided to review games because I'm a big gamer. And the Assassin's creed review is because it needs a review from someone who isn't a total douche bag. And also I have a poll in my profile. If you want Black and the others to have Non-Unova Pokémon or not. So vote on that and...Oh yeah. I don't own Nintendo, Pokémon, The NES, the creators of Pokémon snap, ubisoft, smosh or smosh games. See you guys next time!**


	2. Assassin of the Revolution

(_Greninja walks out, holding a tomahawk_)

Hey guys I'm Greninja and I review video games! So I bet you all are wondering why I have a tomahawk in my hand. I bet you're also wondering why it looks like the assassin's insignia from assassin's creed. Well that's because assassin's creed 3 is our game for today! But before we get started on this I have to say something. It turns out Pokémon snap is for the N64 and not the NES. Thanks to Mr. Grool for pointing this out. So today is the day we review one of the authors favorite games. Of course you guys think this review is going to be biased. But it's not. So let's get started!

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**Introduction**

Assassin's creed 3 -like previous Assassin's creed games- gives us a quick recap of what happened in the previous games. While also not giving away major spoilers to people who haven't played the first, or the Ezio trilogy. Because I know for a fact that this has happened. No offense to people who have read this or the author. Anyways instead of the present day main character Desmond introducing us to the story, it's Desmond's father, William. William walks us through what has happened to Desmond's life in the past few months. He explains how abstergo -the modern day Templars- wish to find pieces of eden. Items left behind from "The ones who came before". And he recaps Desmond's part in this and how the sun will burn them all soon. Yeah anyone else noticed that this takes place in 2012? The year where the end of the world was nigh? Yeah I found that kind of funny. Maybe that's how Ubisoft predicted the worlds end!

Anyways William also tells us how Desmond was kidnapped by Abstergo and forced to live as two of his ancestors, not mentioned by name. So after a recap of all of this William says, and I quote: "With the Knowledge of Altair, and the abilities of Ezio. His name is Desmond Miles. And he has brought us to the end." Really? Talk about gloomy. But hey I liked how they gave Altair and Ezio a shout out! The images in this recap was great though! The graphics were amazing! Hell even Chesare Borgia holding the apple looked freaking amazing! And I know that these improvements appear in the game! So, let's get started with Gameplay!

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**Gameplay**

Ubisoft made a big leap when they changed the gameplay here. Some people who played the Ezio trilogy too much are probably lashing out because now they have to press B and X to counter kill. But they have to suck it up because they are gonna be like this for a while. Actually only for 3 and 4. Unity may have some new use for the A and B buttons with parkour options. But that's next gen. Also the enemies have changed as well. You can't just counter and hope for a kill, no no no. Some of these guys like Captains, require a defense break. While others cant have there defense broken. And these big guys with axes, oh my god they are a pain in the ass! I mean picture it! You're fighting a bunch of guards you can just get a kill streak with, you're mashing X and then BAM! Right when you hit X that S.O.B grabs your tomahawk and headbutts you! I almost tossed my controller out of the window, and used multiple water shuriken on it!

But it's not all bad! They added the human shield ability! Yeah you see two guards aiming at you, about to shoot your brains out. Then you hear BAM! And you watch as that brute you just grabbed is shot down because he was your human shield. Take that bitch! But there's more. They added rope darts! So now you can hang people in the streets or on a tree. Or maybe you'll choke them slowly and let there bodies slump down. And finally you can pull them towards you and then slice there neck with your tomahawk! Only if there so close you could just run at them and bring a hidden blade to there f**king face! That's another down side. They also ditched the hidden gun, crossbow, and throwing knives. Yeah. So now we have a basic gun (or two if you crafted the second holster). A regular bow and arrow, and nothing to throw at all. But we get the poison darts! Yeah that makes up for all of the cool s**t we had as Ezio! But trust me I'm not close to done with gameplay.

Next we have the ability to run through buildings. Yeah so now we can run through a room, and hide in a bail of hay or a well. Wouldn't it be weird to have a guy with 2 guns, a sword, and a tomahawk running through your window? But hey at least it's faster to get away from those douches now. Also they added NAVAL COMBAT! That s**t is bad ass! Seriously we get to steer our own ship, and use our cannons on those mofo's! And by completing special naval missions with the Templar symbol, you get a special mission that let's you kill another Templar! And you can upgrade your ship! But really I'm running out of gameplay so lets get to the story.

* * *

**Story**

Our story starts with the introduction above. Then you see Desmond walking out of the van with William saying: "We're here" Damn starts right where revelations left off. So Desmond uses Ezios apple of Eden to open up a temple of sorts. And he finds a "Power source" of some kind. After plugging it in, a voice from the temple, causes a bleeding effect. Which forces Desmond into the animus once again. Of course we need a tutorial for this new gameplay. But really it does the basic stuff. You figure out the other s**t on the way. So from sequence 1-4 you play as Haythem Kenway, a British man who just killed someone in an opera house, is now in America. He needs to figure out what will the amulet he obtained from killing that man will do. So Haythem recruits many famous men in this period of history, to join his cause. Such include: Charles Lee, William Johnson, Thomas Hickey, Benjamin Church, and John Pitcairn. And after you recruit these men you begin to hunt Edward Braddock. And Haythem succeeds in Killing him, taking off a ring Braddock had on him. And with him dead, Haythem inducts Charles Lee into his order. Charles Lee is now a...TEMPLAR! Talk about a plot twist! Of course there is more to this than you think. Haythem met a Mohawk woman who showed Haythem the temple Desmond is in now. But the amulet didn't open the temple. It does however, have some importance to the temple. So Haythem and the Mohawk woman got...busy. Let's just say there's a baby Mohawk on the rise! Hehe. Oh s**t I spoiled some of it for guys who haven't played it. Meh whatever.

Ratonhnhakéton is the name of our main character. Also pronounced as Ra-doon-ha-ge-doon. But don't worry about pronouncing it! Because it'll change soon. But let's get back to the story shall we? After the Mohawk woman, named Zio, explains she does not wish for her son to become like his father. We are now in control of a 5 year old Ratonhnhakéton. As he goes to play hide-and-go-seek with his other friends. And he begins to find them yadayada. But when it's his time to hide, he meets some men who will change his life. Charles Lee, Thomas Hickey, and Benjamin Church. Charles grabbed our young hero by the throat and asks where his village is. When Ratonhnhakéton did not answer, the second in command Templar told Ratonhnhakéton that he was useless, and a spec of dust. Talk about cruel Lee. So after knocking Ratonhnhakéton unconscious, they leave. And when the child wakes up, he finds his village set a flames! Oh no that douche didn't!

So Ratonhnhakéton makes his way through the burning village to his mother. Who is trapped, and bloody under her home. Ratonhnhakéton tries to help, but he wasn't strong enough. Zio told him that he may feel lost and alone at times. But she will always be with him. Awe man this just makes you want to cry!

(_Greninja begins to sniff as the Camera cuts_)

Sorry about that, I always cry when I see that. Anyways, time skip nine years later. A 14 year old Ratonhnhakéton shows his friend how to hunt. Which is just an excuse to shove a tutorial down our throats about freerunning through trees and hunting. So when they get back to the village, the clan mother called for Ratonhnhakéton in private. She gave him a crystal ball, which is a piece of eden. Saying this will give him the answers he needs. He is approached by Juno, a member of the first civilization. She turns Ratonhnhakéton into an eagle, as she explains to him that he must search for the assassin's symbol. To stop the Templars from opening the temple. So Ratonhnhakéton is allowed to leave the village. So he begins his search for the symbol, but not because he chose this path, but he felt it was an obligation.

So Ratonhnhakéton travels to a large mansion. I think its a mansion. He met a man named Achilles. Who at first would not train the boy. The day after Ratonhnhakéton tries again, but to no avail. Although he told Achilles "I will not leave! I am never leaving."

Alright guys I got to cut this short, Ill give you guys more of this on part 2. So stay tuned for more!

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**Hey guys so I would really like for you guys to vote on my poll. The poll is whether or not you guys want Non-Unova Pokémon in my other story, Pokémon Black and White, Unova adventures. Also I don't own Pokémon, ubisoft, or the assassin's creed series.**


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